So, now that E! has decided it's been long enough since Rivers' death, they've released a statement on the future of Fashion Police. The statement reads, in part, "We decided, with Melissa Rivers' blessing, that Joan would have wanted the franchise to continue. Fashion Police will return in 2015 commencing with Golden Globes coverage on Monday, January 12. No further details will be announced at this time."
Many weren't sure the show would continue without her, and some still don't believe that it should. But, like most fashion and award-show loving individuals, I am one of the many clamoring for the show to remain on the air forever and ever so it can satiate my post-Oscars hunger for critique after critique of the same fucking dresses I've been reading about and staring at for more than 24 hours year after year until I die. (Shut up, that's a normal thing to feel). What we've come down to, now, is the obvious question of who will replace the Botoxed Boss Bitch that has ruled our hearts for so long with her hit or miss one-liners.
I tend to agree with the popular opinion that Kathy Griffin is the obvious choice.
Not because she knows that much about fashion. She might! She definitely knows something. To be frank, I never thought Joan was the greatest judge of fashion either. But the biting wit is there. The awkward tension with celebrities due to reputation is there. But Kathy's schtick is off. Who knows how many long-winded stories and physical embodiments Kathy can bring to the Fashion Police set to bring the laughs, but I think she could absolutely make it work. Then again, I'm not sure how she and the other hosts would get along.
Which brings me to my perennial choice: Tim Gunn
Tim Gunn for every position in every institution that does anything with fashion anywhere in the world, I say. There is nothing I wouldn't trust to that brilliant, bespoke, bespectacled, asexual god of a fashion icon. Not because he's funny (although I think Tim is hilarious). But because he could bring some real fashion know-how to FP and be a great moderator/foil to the cattiness. It wouldn't be the same show. But it would be better than most other options. Because Tim Gunn can make anything better. Not that he's a real option. But something tells me he and Kelly would have a hilarious rapport, while he and George would constantly undermine one another. I'm salivating just thinking about it.
My least favorite of the major contenders being floated is Ross Matthews.
I think he's the heir apparent amongst the E! line-up. Chelsea's done with the celebrity bullshit and can do better. Ross isn't, and probably can't, and could further cement himself as a core member of E!'s awards coverage for years and years to come. I wouldn't hate that. His contributions are fine, and often funny. I'd just rather they do something a bit more bold... or at least something that panders to my other fashion-tv interests with Project Runway cross-over. Is that so much to ask? Nina even?
The final major player in this whole ordeal is Melissa.
Good ole' Melissa Rivers, who has been riding her mother's coat-tails and trying to make a name for herself for years now. She's not bad at the job. We've seen her do the red carpet. But there's a reason she isn't doing it anymore. If she snags that hosting gig for herself, it'll mean the end of the show. The new lead host needs to be charismatic, fun, and bitchy. As far as I can tell, Melissa has only one of those characteristics. That's not enough to fill the shoes of a comedy legend like Joan. Even admitting that I often hated Joan's humor and her mean-spiritedness, she deserves better than to be replaced by a hollow shell of a would-be entertainer. So please, pleeeeease, just don't let Melissa have the job.
